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Wednesday 21 May 2008

Teenagers Listen To Music, Daily Mail Gets Knickers In Twist



Daily Mail scare stories down the ages:

c.1500 Prince Henry Composes 'Greensleeves'. Morbid Tune Could Lead to Hundreds of Teen Deaths, Say Experts.

1590s: Teenage Suicide Pacts Follow Staging of Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' Horror Show. How Wilt This Affect the Price of Thy Humble Shack?

1600s: Morris Dancing Leads To Rise in Teen Pregnancies. Good Time To Buy New House, Forsooth!

1800s: How My Lucinda Was Lured Into This Evil Waltz Craze, Says Tearful Countess After Daughter's Suicide.

1920s: Parents Urged To Lock Up Sons and Daughters As Jazz Cult Death Toll Rocks Housing Market.

1930s: Hurrah for Hitler! Fuhrer Suppresses Deviant Cabaret Culture. House Prices Boom!

1940s: Why This Jitterbug Craze Is More Dangerous Than the Luftwaffe to the Price of Your House.

1956: Elvis's Hip Gyrations Threaten Global Housing Market Recession.

1963: Why We Don't Want This American Folk-Singing Nonsense Over Here. We Value the Price of Our Houses Too Much, Thank You, Uncle Sam!

1969: Thousands Killed in 'Summer of Love' Orgy. House Prices Plummet.

1976: Punk Rocker Ate My Hamster, Says Freddie Starr. Pages 2-10: How the Sex Pistols Triggered Housing Market Crash

1982. Thank Goodness There's No Decent Music These Days for Us To Get Alarmed About. Hurrah for Maggie! Inside: Kill an Argie and Win A Mini Metro!

1990: Grunge Spreads Gloom Over Housing Market As Teenagers Commit Suicide, Have Sex Younger and Younger, Go on Rampage, Play Truant, Shoot Heroin, Sell Their Bodies To Pay School Fees, Run All Over My New Mown Lawn, Etc.

2008:
Why no child is safe from the sinister cult of emo

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