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Thursday 13 November 2008

10 Reasons Why Rolf Harris Is Better Than Bob Dylan

1. Two Little Boys. The children's classic that has a strange effect on grown men (and on a certain evil ex-prime minister). The real greatest single ever made!



2. Didgeridoo vs. harmonica -- I mean, which is cooler?
Well, ok, but which is more phallic?



3. Bob can't play the wobble board either.

4. His Rolfness has been backed by all four Beatles on a remake of 'Tie Me Kangaroo Down' sport -- Bob has only ever sung with George and Ringo, separately, and has never sung about kangaroos.



5. The Rolfster has sung on a Kate Bush album.

6. Make that two Kate Bush albums!

7. Rolf can draw. Sorry, Bob, but just because you have an exhibition of your pisspoor paintings nowadays, it doesn't mean they're any good.

8. Jake the Peg -- a more poignant story of an outcast than Hollis Brown?



9. Has Bob Dylan ever performed a cover of the Divynyls 'I Touch Myself' accompanied only by a wobble board? I think not.



10. Bob was the voice of his generation, but Rolf is the voice of every generation.

What's more, that "vocal percussion" thing that Tom Waits does -- Rolf invented that, he did.

4 comments:

inthealley said...

11. Rolf Harris is a sycophantic git, who will turn any trick to keep up.

Unknown said...

You have definitely lost your mind.

Anonymous said...

YOU SAD MAN YOU SHOULD GET OUT MORE!

Anonymous said...

of course bob sang about kangaroos

Amelia, when asked "Was it awesome, your stay in Australia?"
Said, "Sort of, but short, this land must be God's favourite failure
I left after finding out that even here, even here there is daily a
Dawn, I could just as well choose
Vancouver or the Ivory Coast"
I said "Yes, but in places like those
There are no kangaroos."
A Maya with gloves, once said "Love is like cacao beans"
Well, these visions of Johanna are the darkest pralines.